


An Honest Job

by prettypurpleflower



Category: Glee
Genre: Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 23:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2288942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettypurpleflower/pseuds/prettypurpleflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt's terrible night is suddenly saved when he finds out Sebastian grew up to be a stripper. Or did he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Honest Job

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually not expecting anybody to guess it, but bonus points for everyone who knows from where I got the title ;)

This night had been shitty enough, Kurt decided. It was time to go home.   
But honestly, why was he even surprised? When Rachel and Santana had somehow sweet talked him into going out with them - they needed a strong man by their side, it was no fun without him, it had been long enough since he had gotten laid - he should have already foreseen how the night would turn out. Because those fun ‘girl nights out’ always ended the same way these days.  
And anyway, he wasn’t a girl. Calling him an honorary girl might have been funny and maybe even a tiny bit satisfying - because it gave him a feeling of belonging - in high school, but at 26 it couldn’t be more obvious that Kurt was a man. A fact the gay male world could confirm, thank you very much.  
Still, he loved Santana and Rachel too much to be angry for long, so he gave in again and let himself be dragged to one of their favorite bars. There were cocktails and shots and dancing, Kurt was just about buzzed enough to start enjoying the night, when the inevitable happened. They ditched him. First Santana, who had found a cute girl in lightning speed. In typical Santana style she hadn’t even bothered to tell them she was leaving, one minute she was sticking her tongue down the poor girl’s throat on the dance floor, the next minute they had both just vanished.  
That had been Kurt’s first clue that it was one of _those_ nights. Rachel simply shrugged it off with the words ‘It’s Santana’, but Kurt couldn’t be happy about it either way. He hadn’t come with them to watch Santana hook up. That wasn’t his idea of _fun._

Sitting at the bar as he waited for his freshly ordered cocktail, Kurt took the time to look around. Rachel was dancing with an unfairly hot guy on the crowded dance floor. Kurt squinted at him; maybe that was the alcohol talking. To his left there was loud group of men around Kurt’s age, all of them wearing the same shirts and party hats on their heads. Kurt rolled his eyes. A bachelor party. How nice to be reminded of his bad mood and single status by practically getting hit in the face by other people’s happiness.

When he turned around again, Rachel stood before him, a huge grin on her face.

‘I’m leaving now.’ Kurt sighed in relief, he probably didn’t need another cocktail anyway.

‘Thank god we’re leaving; this night just doesn’t get magically better.’ Much to his dismay, Rachel only frowned.

‘No, _we_ aren’t leaving, _I_ am leaving. With Carlos. When he comes back from refreshing himself, obviously.’

‘Carlos, honestly? If that doesn’t scream serial killer to you, I can’t help you.’

‘Kurt Hummel, stop being a grumpy little bitch! It’s not my fault you’re the only one who’s going home alone.’ Her expression turned soft.

'You're not trying hard enough, Kurt. You're not even trying at all. A little bit of flirting wouldn't hurt you.'

'I am trying, Rachel,' Kurt said, pretending his tone hadn't been petulant at all.

'That's why you spent the whole night staring into your glass,' she snapped, before her eyes turned gentle again. 'I only want what's best for you and wallowing in self-pity over being single for a few months definitely isn’t the best thing for you.’

‘I know… It’s just been an exhausting time. So much stress at work, you know? I’ll get back on my feet in no time.’

‘I know you will, you always do,’ Rachel nodded.

The guy from earlier, whom Kurt could now identify as Carlos, appeared again, stopping at a safe distance away and waiting for Rachel to end her conversation. Kurt scowled. Yes, he was just as gorgeous from closer up, no alcohol needed.

‘Your boy toy is back and I think he really wants to leave now.’ Rachel threw a quick glance over her shoulder, smiled at Carlos and turned back to Kurt.

‘Don’t make everything worse than it actually is. Maybe tonight will still turn out to be magical, who knows?’  
‘Maybe. Go, have fun. And call me tomorrow!’ Kurt said, giving her a tiny smile. She hesitated for a moment, then Rachel surged forward and threw her arms around him in a quick but for her stature surprisingly tight hug. At least she hadn’t announced it beforehand.

A second later she was gone.

‘Dude, your cocktail.’ He turned around and true to the bartender’s words, there was a cocktail waiting for him. Picking it up, Kurt raised an eyebrow. He knew that color. That was definitely a Mai Tai and Kurt couldn’t in any way be so drunk as to order a Mai Tai. With a wistful sigh he put it down again.   
‘No, Kurt. Don’t drink it. It doesn’t love you back,’ Kurt told himself. As much as he had grown to love the cocktail when he had started getting curious about alcohol during college, it had landed him a rendezvous with his toilet every single time.

‘Sorry, wrong drink. Thanks anyway,’ Kurt said to the bartender and put a few dollars on the bar. The girl only shrugged, since he obviously didn’t want another cocktail and had paid her nonetheless.

He got up with a groan. One day, Kurt was sure, those bar chairs would kill his back. And it would be another night when his girls ditched him and he got served the wrong drink. He shook his head. Yep, if he was getting bitter, it was definitely time to go home. To his empty apartment. Just like it had been the last few months.

Honestly, he didn’t miss his ex-boyfriend. It hadn’t even been that serious, they hadn’t lived together. He had just… slept over a lot. And that’s exactly what Kurt missed. _Someone_ to come home to, _someone_ he could complain to about his stressful day, _someone_ who would tell him he was an exaggerating drama queen.

When he finally made his way outside, he was hit by a wall of cold air. It was neither winter nor unnaturally cold for the actual season of fall, but the bar had been overheated and Kurt was sure the alcohol didn’t help either, so he just wrapped his arms tightly around himself and decided to suck it up.

What he needed now was a cab. Surely there were a few hopeful cabs waiting just around the corner to the main street. For some reason, he was more than surprised when noticed two police officers walking in his direction. Even though he hadn’t committed a crime, seeing them evoked a weird feeling in Kurt’s stomach. He frowned. No, those weren’t real cops. They were far too… muscular. And probably too young as well. Even though one of them was clearly quite a bit older than the other one. Suddenly it hit him. He couldn’t believe his eyes. The nearer they came, the surer Kurt got.

‘No way!’, he exclaimed and immediately the eyes of the younger of the two snapped up to meet his. The recognition sparking was unmistakable. They both had probably not changed too much since high school. God knew Kurt’s voice hadn’t, no matter how much he wished differently.

‘Kurt Hummel?’ And that’s the exact moment it made click in Kurt’s mind. The uniforms, they were making their way to the bar, the impatient bachelor party…

'Oh my god, Sebastian Smythe! I always knew you'd end up as a stripper!'  
Sebastian’s friend, who Kurt could only describe as dark and well-aged, gasped. ‘What did…,’ he started, but Sebastian put a hand on his shoulder and slightly shook his head. He looked at Kurt again with a smirk spreading on his face.  
‘So, you always knew that, mh, Hummel?  
‘You should probably hurry. That bachelor party in there was already too drunk when I left, so…’ Kurt took a moment to consider Sebastian’s friend. True, a bit old to be a stripper, but in surprisingly good shape for his age and definitely good looking. Perhaps the bachelor party didn’t have enough money to hire two strippers as young and hot as Sebastian. Kurt’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, praying he wasn’t blushing tomato red right now. He hadn’t just thought the meerkat was hot, he definitely hadn’t.  
‘Right,’ Sebastian answered, drawing the word out.

‘I can’t _wait_ to tell the others. You know, my day was really awful. Knowing you ended up as a stripper, it’s like there is actually a higher being that wanted to cheer me up.’

‘Glad to be of service.’ Sebastian pressed his lips together, obviously trying to suppress something. Maybe he’s embarrassed, Kurt mused. Not like Kurt couldn’t relate to that. If their roles had been reversed, Kurt would probably be wishing for the ground to open and swallow him whole.

‘So sorry to cut this short, but as you said, we’re on a schedule,’ dark and well-aged piped up, his tone not betraying any emotion. Kurt was really getting fond of the nickname he had come up with, proud that even half-drunk his wit didn’t leave him.

‘Of course you are. Honestly, meeting you made my night.’ Kurt grinned smugly, giving the two of them a little wave as the older man practically pushed Sebastian to continue walking.

Kurt shook his head again, still not believing what he just found out.

 

And when he rounded the corner, Kurt was starting to be convinced a lucky streak had finally found him.  
There was a cab, empty and waiting for passengers. Could this truly be the first fortunate thing happening to him all night? He chuckled inwardly. Well, besides finding out perfect preppy Sebastian Smythe had become a stripper. He threw another glance towards the corner, but there was no one in sight, so he turned his attention back to the matter in hand.

The driver looked at him with a mix of annoyance and boredom.

'I'm not driving another one of you drunk idiots who forgot they don't have any money left.'  
‘Of course I have money!’ Kurt said indignantly.

He got out his wallet, gesticulating wildly as he added almost as an afterthought. ‘And I’m not that drunk.’  
Suddenly Kurt felt his wallet getting ripped out of his hand. His head snapped up, watching the offender run away. The alcohol was still making his thoughts hazy and muddled, he knew he should react, but all he could do was blink in shock. Kurt wondered if it was still worth it to start running, even though the thief had rounded a corner and was nowhere to be seen anymore. Okay, maybe he was _that_ drunk.  
‘Sorry, dude. No money no ride. I’m not Amnesty,’ the taxi driver said, obviously annoyed that he was losing valuable time. Before Kurt could respond he started the car again and drove to the end of the street, where a few giggling girls had been trying to hail a cab for a few minutes already.

Kurt put a hand on his head, trying to keep his desperation at bay. Obviously he had crowed too soon about his lucky streak. ‘That doesn’t even make sense. Amnesty doesn’t offer free rides,’ he muttered weakly to himself.  
He took a few harsh breaths, the cool air seemed to be burning all the way down to his lungs. The police station, he needed to get to the next police station. And since all his money had been in that wallet, Kurt realized, he’d have to go by foot. As if the night couldn’t get worse, really.  
Rubbing his hands together to keep them warm, he murmured, ‘At least I’ll be sober when I’m there.’

When Kurt finally opened the door of the next godforsaken police station that was entirely too far away, he was indeed sober, far more sober than he had wished for this night at least.

It was empty except for one officer sitting behind a counter, his eyes scanning a stack of papers in front of him, but he obviously kept getting sidetracked. He looked up at Kurt with disinterest.

‘Can I help you?’ Kurt stepped forward, preparing to be as polite as possible. His dad hadn’t been very fond of the police, a dislike born out of their unwillingness to ever step in when Kurt’s classmates threw pee-balloons at him or nailed their lawn furniture to their roof.

Still, they were kind of authority figures, even if more honest jobs existed. Kurt snickered inwardly again. Well, better a cop than a stripper. He briskly shook his head to focus again, this really wasn’t the time.

'My wallet got stolen.'  
‘Can you identify yourself somehow?’ Kurt looked at the officer as if he had three heads.  
‘My wallet got stolen,’ he repeated slowly. The cop frowned at him.  
‘Are you drunk, sir?’  
‘No, he’s always like that, John.’ Kurt’s eyes widened in shock. That was the second time today he heard that voice. Sebastian? And he knew that rude officer? He pursed his lips. They probably regularly arrested him for indecent behavior or something.  
‘You know him, Seb?’  
‘Yep,’ Sebastian answered, making a popping sound. ‘The one and only Kurt Hummel.’ Kurt rolled his eyes, not willing to turn around. He still hadn’t gotten his wallet back, he had no intention of spending more time than necessary with his current company.   
‘What are you doing here, Sebastian? Did they arrest you?’ The cop behind the desk scowled.  
‘I don’t really care if that’s how you treated him in kindergarten or whatever, but you won’t talk to any officer here like that.’  
Officer? All blood drained out of Kurt’s face and he spun around, coming face to face with Sebastian’s smug grin. ‘You’re a police officer.’  
‘Yep. Sorry to disappoint you, really.’  
‘Why didn’t you say anything? I… That was basically insulting an official.’  
The officer next to Sebastian, the same Sebastian had already been with earlier, watched their conversation like a tennis match.  
‘So you care more about a small offense than my feelings? I’m seriously hurt, Kurt.’  
Sebastian turned towards John with a proud grin. ‘He thought I’m a stripper,’ Sebastian explained and John started laughing. ‘He’s not too far off, Smythe, is he?’  
Sebastian made a few fake poses. ‘I do have the body for it, don’t you think?’  
Kurt threw a sideway glance at John, who seemed far more relaxed than when he had to deal with Kurt on his own.  
Why did it feel like they were making fun of _him_ , when Sebastian was the one who looked like a stripper?  
‘Can someone tell me now what I have to do to get my wallet back?’

'Hey, sweetheart!' Kurt's head snapped back up as something came flying to him, only his regained reflexes saving him. It was his wallet. He looked up with wide eyes.

'How did you get that?' Sebastian shrugged nonchalantly.

'Caught your little thief.'

'You did?'

'Don't look so surprised. This body isn't just pretty to look at.' Kurt blushed, angry at himself and at Sebastian.

'Well, maybe you would've gotten more out of it if you'd actually become a stripper, what do you think?' The three men started laughing again.

'Could you stop making fun of me while I'm standing here?' Kurt snapped in humiliation.

'We're not making fun of you, we're laughing at our little idiot here. Yesterday he turned down a donut because he thought he's getting out of shape.' Kurt’s shoulders instantly relaxed, his expression turned surprised. Had he really interpreted the situation so wrong? Police officers eating donuts was ridiculously cliché in Kurt’s opinion, but Sebastian being too vain to eat even one? He looked at Sebastian in a tiny bit of wonder. Just the same as in high school, maybe even a bit buffer.

'And the day before that he complained that he's sitting so much on his butt all day, no guy will want to date him ever again.' That managed to coax a clear laugh out of Kurt. That didn’t sound at all like the ’20-minutes-relationship’ Sebastian he knew from high school

'Telling him he looks like a stripper was probably the biggest ego boost he's gotten in weeks.'

Sebastian smirked and shrugged with one shoulder, but Kurt could still see a hint of red had sneaked onto his cheeks. That was almost… adorable. Even though Kurt mused he probably shouldn’t say that out loud.

The room became quiet. Sebastian, who was obviously still embarrassed by his older colleagues making fun of him, avoided looking at anybody. If he had looked up, he would have noticed Kurt considering him curiously.

'Well, Mr Hummel, we only need you to attest that you got your wallet back, then you’d be free to go,’ John interrupted his thoughts and slid a paper towards Kurt. He quickly looked it over – it wasn’t probable, but he really didn’t need a new washing machine – and signed it.

Behind him, Sebastian cleared his throat. ‘Actually, maybe… you’ll have to come in again to sign a few more papers. You know, formalities. Confirm the culprit and… stuff.’ Dark and well-aged next to Sebastian smirked. ‘Or you could just drop in unannounced. Always nice to see someone keeping little Sebastian here on his toes.’ John chuckled, obviously more than glad that this conversation kept him from his stack of papers. He wiggled his eyebrows at Kurt.

‘Yeah, who knows how long this ego boost today can hold out.’

It was a sudden irrational act, but Kurt had taken the few steps towards Sebastian before he could change his mind. Maybe the leftover alcohol gave him the last nudge, maybe it was his subconsciousness deciding it was time to start trying again. He slowly put his right hand on Sebastian’s chest, feeling how the muscles tensed beneath his touch. Biting his lower lip, Kurt leaned forward until he was just inches away from Sebastian’s face. One slow breath, met Sebastian’s skin right beneath his lips, eliciting a shiver. When Sebastian half closed his eyes, his gaze hooded, Kurt whispered, ‘It can’t get much sexier-’ He paused, enjoying how Sebastian was almost vibrating in anticipation, before he continued, his words not much louder than a breath, ‘- than your ass in a uniform.’

As if nothing had happened, Kurt took a step back and dusted off nonexistent dirt from his sleeves.

Sebastian’s colleagues started howling with laughter again, while Sebastian himself was left standing there in shock, his mouth agape and his eyes betraying the surprise at Kurt’s unexpected behavior.

Grinning, Kurt walked towards the door. One hand on the handle, he winked at Sebastian. ‘That’ll last a while longer. Thanks again for saving my wallet, _officer._ ’ Then he pushed the door open.

'Don't forget to check if everything's still there!' Sebastian called after him with a slightly husky voice, however, Kurt didn’t look back again. Outside he stopped, the adrenaline came crashing down on him and the cold air feeling even worse against his hot face. He pressed his eyes closed for a second. What had gotten into him? Kurt wasn't as innocent as during high school anymore, he had done his fair share of flirting. But this sort of aggressive and obvious flirting? That was something Kurt usually reserved for his bedroom. Or other places he planned on having sex at soon. And a police station definitely wasn't any such place. Especially in front of other people. In front of freaking police officers. He had been cocky in front of police officers. He took a deep breath. It wasn’t that bad. No matter how hard he tried, Kurt couldn’t see Sebastian as an authority figure. And his colleagues had been more than amused. One thing was sure, though, if Sebastian’s colleagues hadn’t given him any cues, he would never have acted that way. But as it was, Kurt was certain he hadn’t made Sebastian’s situation at work any worse. To be honest, Sebastian could count himself lucky he was working with people as open-minded as those other two.

As he started walking again it was with his chin up and his chest out. Maybe Rachel was right for once, he hadn’t been trying at all. But now that he had tried, with Sebastian of all people, the outcome had been glorious. The longer he walked, the more his doubts fell away and the more it felt like he was floating. ‘Kurt Hummel is back,’ he said out loud. It was an afterthought to look around, but there was no one on the streets who could report an insane behaving man to the police. Kurt laughed. They’d probably laugh with him. Who would have guessed that there were such easy-going police officers?

Only when he reached a street where he would be able to hail a cab did he remember Sebastian’s advice and stopped abruptly, his good mood a bit dimmed. What if the thief had already taken out all of his money? Kurt couldn’t _walk_ all the way home. When he got his wallet out again and opened it, a slip of paper almost fluttered out. However, Kurt caught it in time, looking at it in surprise. He couldn’t remember putting it there. What was so important to remember he put a memo into his wallet? The second he turned it to the lettered side, he realized he actually hadn’t put it there. It was a note. A note that Sebastian must have put there long before Kurt’s… _attack_ on him, before he even knew he’d meet him again this night. Kurt grinned.

It was a phone number and a little scribble.  
   
 _Not a stripper, but I could show you my handcuffs anyway._ _Call me? ;)_


End file.
